First post of the year. I guess this should be a special post. But it's not really. I have nothing special to write about. I've just finished reading the prequel to my favorite book series ever. The series is called Private. By Kate Brian. Best. Series. In. The. World.
It's honestly so good. Kind of dirty at some parts but its got every genre packed into one. I think that's
why so many people like it. Because any genre you like, it's in there. If you think you're interested in reading this series, the books are, Private, Invitation only, Untouchable, Confessions, Inner Circle, Legacy, Ambition, Revelation, Paradise Lost, Suspicion.
There are 2 more books coming out soon that I'm
aware of. Scandal
comes out March 2010.
comes out August 2010.
There is also another series by Kate Brian
that links into the private series. it's linked because a character in private
is in this other series. The series is called Privilege.
There are 3 books already published Privilege, Beautiful Disaster,
and Perfect Mistake.
There will is 1 more book that i know of, that is going to get published. Sweet Deceit
it comes out June 2010.
If you have any questions that need to be answered. Just go to " http://www.simonsaysteen.com/
" and search Kate Brian
(: She's an excellent author.Wow
. Can you really just like, get out of my life already ? No one wants you here. You said you had friends there- i find that hard to believe-so why don't you go back ? Do everyone a favor and get hit by a bus while you're at it. Stop telling lies. You keep saying you're moving one day, and the next you change the date. Like. What. The. Hell. ?. You think you're so cool, and popular, but you're so oblivious. Open Your Eyes,
and realize that no one here likes you. No one will be-friend you. You've had way too many chances. Just get up, and go. You don't belong here.
[d]. Why do you do that ? You say you could never like anyone else. You say you don't like hurting girls. You say its not your fault. But that's not true. Reality is, It's all your fault.
I think you like her.
she likes you, and you lead her on. You tell her she's cute,
and you flirt with her. And when she expresses her feelings, You come crying to me thinking you don't want to hurt her, but at the same time, you don't like her. If you don't like her, then why lead her on ? You say that's just the way you are, But if it bothers you that much.. Why don't you fix it. Stop leading the girls on. But you can't do that can you ? I mean i know you shouldn't change for anyone, they should accept you as you are...But why don't you change for you ? it seems to bother you the most. Also, You talk to her more than you talk to me. Is she more important ? 'Cause if that's
the case, just be straight up and tell me. I can handle it. I'm strong. I liked what we had before. Before the mistake. It can never be the same. We can't go back.
If i could go back and change one thing, it would be my reaction to what happened. Maybe if i did that, i would be happy writing this blog. And i wouldn't have to write about this. But i know i can't do that. I'm starting to wonder if we're wasting our time. I don't think i can have a relationship and only talk over the computer. Or like only talk once a week. I don't think this is going anywhere. It was easier last year. Last year when i got to see you everyday. Last year when everything was perfect. But this is not last year. I really don't want to give up. I'm not a quitter. Quitters are weak, and cowards. I don't want to be one of those people. I want to be strong. I want to be carefree. I want to have no worries at all. But most of all i want to be me.
Around you i feel like i can't be myself. Like you won't like me if for one second i act crazy, or make a joke. Every time
i do, You give me a weird look. A look as if I'm
being stupid, and immature. But I'm
be anything but me. And i shouldn't have to try to be anything.
I don't know who i am anymore. I'm a different person around everyone else. How are you supposed to know who you are ? How you act ? Can't you change and still be the same person ? Don't you make yourself ? How are other people supposed to know if you're a different person ?
People always tell me 'You've changed.' or 'You're being different.' How do you know I'm not being myself ? How does anyone know who i am ? I don't even know who i am. How do you ?
I wish i could go back to the days where nothing mattered. When i knew who i was. When i could just let go, and have fun. Why did everything have to change ? it's like you ripped away my happiness and filled my heart with feelings. With emotion. I don't like it.
I know you're all just joking around. But i hate when everyone thinks I'm
stupid. I hate when you all think I'm
just some dumb blond
. Is that all you think of me ? Like i can't do anything with my life. Well i have news for you. I'm going to go far. Farther than any of you, and you'll be sorry when you remember how you used to treat me. And i know i sometimes blank out and say something wrong, but does that mean that I'm
stupid ? no. And every time
i say something like that, everyone laughs. I don't like being laughed at. It's embarrassing
. I could think of so many things to laugh about when i think of you. soooooo
many. It's quite hilarious actually, but i don't ever say anything because it's rude. And you're my friend, but boy would i ever love
to just smack you in the face sometimes. Everyone says i always make them laugh. Like in those face book
always tagged as the one you have a good time with, or the one who makes you laugh the most. But i don't even try. The only reason i make you laugh a lot and you have a good time, is because apparently you enjoy laughing at
me. I thought we were friends. But then i realized we only have good times together because you think i'm an idiot, and that makes you laugh. I started to realize that's
not really a great friendship eh ?
Yeah, so i was going to write something
else. But I'm
done now i guess, I forgot what i was going to say.ttfn